Myth #1: Married women have fewer insecurities than single women. When discussing this with my Sunday School class there was mutual agreement that we feel like we battle insecurity more. Being a wife and a mother can place us in an entirely different arena with insecurity than single women. If a woman is in a bad marriage, that alone can place them in another realm that single women don't have to deal with. If you are single, don't believe the myth that married women have less insecurity than single women.
Myth #2: People who have it all together or who appear to have it all together do not battle insecurity. This is a myth that must be exposed. Beth Moore tells us that "making assumptions about who struggles with insecurity and who doesn't based on what they appear to have going for them suggests how little we understand the nature of insecurity and what feeds it." Just because a woman is attractive does not mean she does not battle insecurity. There is a lot of pressure and emotional energy that is required to keep appearances up. We are skilled at building (and maintaining) facades. But behind each facade there may be an injured soul that is desperately trying to cover that hurt and their insecurity.
To sum up the two myths:
- Don't covet what someone else has
- Be careful how you judge
- Be slow to size someone up and think you know all about her type
- Stop comparing yourself to others. You are being unfair to yourself.
1. Be careful that you don't step into the trap of placing your security in something that gives a false positive. What is a false positive? It is the one thing that you think would make you more secure in all things. Here are some examples: If I were skinny then I would feel secure in all things; if I were pretty then I would feel secure in all things; if I had money then I would feel secure in all things; if I had power or prestige then I would feel secure in all things. I hope you are getting the picture by now.
- Let me give you a personal example of the definition of false positive. In December of 1988, I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant. This was my first pregnancy and my husband and I were very excited. I had the "thrill" of having morning sickness every day and being very sensitive to smells. When it was time for my monthly visit to my OB/GYN, we were going to listen to the babies heart beat for the first time. It was disappointing and scary when we didn't hear it. The doctor said we may be off on our calculations and I was to come back in a few weeks to try again. However, around the first of February, I began to spot and in a couple of days, I had miscarried. The doctor told me I had a blighted ovum. It was a false positive. My body told me I was pregnant but no fetus was developing. The body naturally knows to abort what is not really there.
- The same is true with insecurity. When you put your security in any earthly thing, you simply cannot keep it. It will fade and another insecurity will rise up. God's truth needs to eclipse every false positive.
2. Be careful that you don't step into the trap of fighting like a mad dog to keep the false positive in place. One simple piece of advice: Let it go! I know, it's simple, but so very hard to do. But please remember, you are surrendering a lie to gain the truth!
- Don't believe the lies and don't fall into the trap of putting your security into a false positive. It can't last and it is not worth the emotional energy to try to keep it in place. Find what your false positive is and ask God to help you to put your security in someone that is eternal: God.
- You are a beautiful treasure. If you look into the eyes of the One who created you, you will see His love and a perfect reflection of your true worth.
Adapted from Beth Moore's book, "So Long Insecurity.."
