Defining Insecurity

Since we have been talking about insecurity, it is now time to define it. What does insecurity mean and how does it manifest itself in our lives?

• Self-doubt - we doubt ourselves and we doubt God. Surely, we know ourselves better than God does? "He wouldn't like me if He knew all about me."
  
• Uncertainty about our basic worth - what is our place in this world?
• Chronic self-consciousness - a preoccupation with self; pride and self-centeredness plays a big part.
  
• Lack of confidence in ourselves
• Constant fear of rejection
• Self-sabotage

As you can tell, insecurity can cover a wicked spectrum of emotions. Insecurity can be so pervasive that it seeps into almost every area of our lives and affects (or "infect""?) - our relationships, our values, our perspectives, and our occupation.

How would you define insecurity and how does it manifest itself in your life?

“"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”"

Zephaniah 3:17

*adapted from "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore

Our Source of Value

Ladies, have you ever noticed that we tend to look to others for our sense of value? We especially put a tremendous amount of pressure on men. Think with me about the different ways we do that. We want them to notice us, to compliment us, and to connect with us. We put high expectations on them to meet our need to feel loved, valued, desirable and worthy of notice?

If we look to men to complete us or define us, it will inevitably lead to hurt and disappointment. Beth Moore says, "something's wrong with us for us to value ourselves so little." Men will fail us because they are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us. It is unrealistic to expect men to be in charge of our sense of value. This is one of the reasons why many women have men-issues. We are either obsessed with receiving affirmation from them or we nurse a grudge against them. The bottom line is that men are not to blame for our problems and it is wrong for us to separate ourselves from them emotionally in order to survive.

The ability to grasp and hold on to acceptance, approval, and affirmation for our entire lives is very difficult because life is hard. We all have experienced circumstances that bring abrupt changes into our lives and cause setbacks. How about a job change? Betrayal? Tragedies? Marriage? Children? Health issues? Offenses? How about the many times we condemn ourselves? I can't count the number of times I have berated myself because I wasn't handling a situation better or I hadn't conquered something quick enough. These things can leave you feeling inept, inadequate and hopeless. I don't know about you but I don't enjoy feeling like an idiot.

So, what do we do? Where do we go from here? How do we get rid of insecurity? Can we learn to be okay if no one tells us that we are beautiful, desirable or captivating? That is what we are going to learn over the weeks ahead. I do know this: we must be willing to fight this enemy to its death. I know I am and I pray that you are to.

The Lord your God is with you,
He is might to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Thoughts adapted from Beth Moore's book, "So Long, Insecurity".

An Epidemic

Yesterday, I began teaching our ladies Sunday School class. We are using Beth Moore's book "So Long, Insecurity you've been a bad friend to us" as our text. I am thankful to God for using Beth Moore to address this issue that is epidemic among women. I am also looking forward to what God is going to do in our lives over the weeks ahead. So, let's buckle our seat belts and go on a journey, that I pray, with God's help and the encouragement of each other, we will find victory over insecurity.

What does insecurity do to us? Beth Moore puts it this way, "Insecurity makes us miserable. It cripples us. It makes fools of us and it makes us feel worthless." Wow! Not a very pretty picture. Insecurity can damage us and it is past time that we learn how to live our lives to the fullest. God's Word tells us that "He has come that we might have life and life more abundantly." Insecurity is a barrier to an abundant and joy-filled life.

Have you ever felt like you are the only one that battles insecurity? Our tendency is to look at others and make snap judgments like: "she is so pretty", "she is so popular", "look at how talented she is", "look at how smart she is", "I'm sure she doesn't feel insecure." Oh really?! This is a lie. You are not alone. The vast majority of women are drowning in insecurity.

The chances of just outgrowing insecurity are very slim. Insecurity can nag us all the days of our lives. Ladies, there is good news though. There is a cure for insecurity. "It won't go away without a fight. It won't go away quietly but it can go away." Isn't that exciting to know? We must be willing to face this problem head on. Since it is not going away quietly or without a fight, let's get ready to do battle. God has equipped us with truth that can change our lives. Let's be honest with ourselves and let's be willing to take on this challenge.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalms 139:13-16


P.S. I encourage you to: 1) read this Psalm everyday, 2) buy Beth Moore's book. It will be a blessing and a help to you.