Our Source of Value

Ladies, have you ever noticed that we tend to look to others for our sense of value? We especially put a tremendous amount of pressure on men. Think with me about the different ways we do that. We want them to notice us, to compliment us, and to connect with us. We put high expectations on them to meet our need to feel loved, valued, desirable and worthy of notice?

If we look to men to complete us or define us, it will inevitably lead to hurt and disappointment. Beth Moore says, "something's wrong with us for us to value ourselves so little." Men will fail us because they are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us. It is unrealistic to expect men to be in charge of our sense of value. This is one of the reasons why many women have men-issues. We are either obsessed with receiving affirmation from them or we nurse a grudge against them. The bottom line is that men are not to blame for our problems and it is wrong for us to separate ourselves from them emotionally in order to survive.

The ability to grasp and hold on to acceptance, approval, and affirmation for our entire lives is very difficult because life is hard. We all have experienced circumstances that bring abrupt changes into our lives and cause setbacks. How about a job change? Betrayal? Tragedies? Marriage? Children? Health issues? Offenses? How about the many times we condemn ourselves? I can't count the number of times I have berated myself because I wasn't handling a situation better or I hadn't conquered something quick enough. These things can leave you feeling inept, inadequate and hopeless. I don't know about you but I don't enjoy feeling like an idiot.

So, what do we do? Where do we go from here? How do we get rid of insecurity? Can we learn to be okay if no one tells us that we are beautiful, desirable or captivating? That is what we are going to learn over the weeks ahead. I do know this: we must be willing to fight this enemy to its death. I know I am and I pray that you are to.

The Lord your God is with you,
He is might to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Thoughts adapted from Beth Moore's book, "So Long, Insecurity".